You’ve have been lied to. We have always been told that we are our own biggest critics. It make sense on the surface. We are very aware of how poorly we talk to ourselves sometimes. But the truth is you are not your biggest critic. Some of the people that you speak to on a daily basis are judging and talking about you. There are also people you don’t even know that are doing the same.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent a good part of your life playing the never ending game of wack-a-mole, trying to please everybody with every action you take. It is impossible. I repeat: It is impossible to earn everyone’s approval no mater what you do.
In fact, most people will disapprove. There was a time when that truth was paralyzing for me. 2015 Storm with a fixed mindset heard that and felt hopeless… “I’m never going to make everyone happy”. 2019 Storm with a growth mindset hears that as feels relieved. Thank the good Lord I don’t have to worry about pleasing everyone.
A common mistake is to take this mindset and go down the path of “I don’t give a crap what anybody thinks”. You’d be lying to yourself. You are a human being with emotions. You do care what people think, as you should. The good news is that you get to choose who those people are.
The better news is that unlike an election, you don’t need 51% of the vote. You only need to concern yourself with the people who’s values parallel yours. The number may be few, and that’s okay. I’d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
If you’re trying to determine if you’re winning or losing at this thing called life, you should start by determining your personal success markers. What makes you happy? Are you happy and successful if you work for the same company for 50 years or if you build 5 companies of your own from the ground up? If you drive a brand new vehicle or one that gets the best gas mileage? If you can set a world record deadlift of pick your kids up the hug them without your back screaming? If you make $320,000 a year working 60 hour weeks or $32,000 a year working 30 hour weeks while attending every one of your daughter’s soccer games?
THE RIGHT ANSWER IS THE ONE THAT PUTS A SMILE ON YOUR FACE!
Please stop being so hard on yourself. Everyone else is doing it for you. Determine what makes YOU happy and measure your success on that and nothing else.
We want to get to know you, understand your goals, and team up to create an action plan to overcome your struggles.
It all starts with a conversation.